There are plenty of misconceptions about tantra. It is often used synonymously with erotic massage. But the two cannot be any more different from each other.
Tantra is not necessarily all about sex. If you are only after sexual pleasure however, you may be better off seeking erotic massage. The benefits of tantra massage are more profound than sexual pleasure. So if you want a different kind of experience, tantra is the way to go.
Tantra and Spiritual Awakening
More than anything else, tantra’s main goal is spiritual awakening. Ancient texts about tantra practice suggest various methods of awakening. Awakening can be achieved through mindful eating, through meditation, as well as through meditative sexual union.
It relies on the power of touch. According to ancient tantric texts, the realm of everlasting life can be achieved through touch.
Tantra: Yin and Yang
Tantra promotes harmony of energy, the yin and yang. In tantra, these opposites meet and unite. Through tantric massage, these opposites can dance together in perfect harmony. Tantra caresses the bodily senses and encourages energy flow. We know yin energy as it pertains to relaxation. A state of total relaxation can be achieved through a regular massage like the one you would normally get from a spa. With tantric massage however, you get both relaxing energies or yin, and stimulating energies or yang. Through the divine union and the weaving of these polar energies, tantric massage can bring the receiver a profound sense of peace and that of completeness.
Tantra and Orgasm
Like we emphasized earlier, tantra is not about the achievement of sexual pleasure. The climax is not the main goal here. As a matter of fact, the union of relaxing and stimulating energies can be achieved even without touching the private parts. Energy flow rests in different parts of the body after all. It is the union that yields what tantra calls as a full body orgasmic experience. It is absolutely something you may never have experienced before if you are new to tantra.
This does not also necessarily mean that tantric massage excludes the sexual organs completely. The body should be treated as a whole, no one part should be treated exclusively or separately. Given the right conditions, a recipient may choose to have his/ her sexual organs united with the rest of his/her body. This is especially encouraged between couples.
The Tantric Approach
As we mentioned previously, tantra can bring you to spiritual awakening. That’s because it is focused on expansion. It does not only help promote connection between couples. It also helps enhance one’s connection to the wider universe. In other words, tantra can bring you to a whole new world of enlightenment, a different perception of reality.
Whereas a regular massage works the different muscle groups in order to ease the body from stress and tension, tantra does not rely on just the power of touch. Rather, it harnesses and incorporates other techniques such as relaxation and breathing techniques, among others. With the inclusion of these methods, we can better achieve the path to awakening.
In this “reality,” we are heavily influenced by our preconceived notions. In a new reality, in awakening, we can let go of the bind. And when we become free of our preconceived notions, hesitations and inhibitions that come with them, only then can we truly feel. When we are truly free, our senses are empowered to see and experience various kinds of sensations. Although these sensations may be unfamiliar, they make us feel a sense of peace and completeness.
By tapping into our energies, tantric massage helps enhance our bodily senses. Now, there are seven principles surrounding tantra practice. A true tantric massage taps into these principles to create a complete tantric experience. The said principles are as follows.
1. Surrender
Pleasure has earned a bad reputation. Most people define pleasure as sinful. There is a feeling of guilt that comes with it. And it should not be the case.
Pleasure, in itself, is not a bad thing. Tantra believes that pleasure is something that we should embrace rather than avoid. What prevents us from feeling and experiencing meaningful pleasure is our inhibition. If we are to maximize the benefits of tantric massage, we must learn to surrender ourselves to pleasure. We must learn to let go. We must learn to stop holding back.
Everybody wants control. But our need for control also serves as a barrier to our personal growth. More often than not, control is tied to fear and other negative habitual responses. Our decisions are bound by biases. In tantra, we must be open and welcoming to a brand new perspective. We can do this by surrendering. This is one of the first things the giver of tantric massage should help the receiver with.
That is to create a safe space for the receiver. The receiver, in turn, should be open to the idea. Otherwise, he/she cannot reap the full rewards of the experience.
2. Awareness
Mindfulness is something that is lost in the modern society. We have become heavily influenced by technology around us including social media that we forget to experience the moment. While some are completely lost in the past, others are consumed by thoughts of the future. Along the way, we disregard what is right before us. We forget to live in the moment.
We do not only need to be physically present. We must be emotionally and mentally present as well. Complete awareness is the key to true experience.
This is one of the main goals of tantra. That is to bring us back in the moment. It serves to remind us the benefits of mindfulness, of being aware, of living every moment. This way, we can have a more vivid and meaningful experience.
Surrender and awareness goes hand in hand. We must surrender our worries of the past and future so we can become more aware of what is going on in our present.
3. Movement
Tantric massage practitioners move with such grace. The elegance in their movement comes from awareness. Every movement is equivalent to a flow of energy. At rest, our bodies store energy. When we are on the move, energy flows freely throughout our bodies.
Energy flow caused by movement is not exclusive to our physical beings. It also affects our emotional and spiritual state. This is why it is one of the main principles of tantra, the awareness of movement.
4. Breathing
Breathing has become automatic for us. We are often unaware of it. If we pay close attention though, we will recognize its strong connection to energy.
The act of breathing is nourishing. It strengthens our physical connection. In tantric massage for couples, breathing can strengthen intimacy. It can encourage a deeper connection between two people. In tantra, inhaling fosters awareness and exhaling represents surrender.
5. Sound
There is nothing wrong with minding our words. But because we are too afraid of being judged, we often keep to ourselves. Our inhibitions stop us from speaking the truth. Tantra encourages us to express our feelings, free from inhibitions. Couples should talk to each other and listen without any kind of judgment. It is essential for true and deep intimacy. This is one of the best reasons why tantric massage can benefit couples.
6. Intention
When we learn to surrender and let go of control, we are bound to attain a new consciousness. We can see things more clearly. With this new state of mind, we can discover and experience pleasure in each and every moment. It is a beautiful thing.
7. Acceptance
Tantra encourages liberation. With liberation comes pleasure and satisfaction at the purest form, untainted by biases. In Tantra, there is no good or bad act. Rather, each and every act must be accepted and embraced equally. Every act is divine. When we learn to welcome every experience, we can achieve freedom. Freedom only comes with acceptance.
So we’ve talked about its meaning and principles but what can it offer you exactly?
Well, you do not necessarily have to subscribe to the belief system in order to reap the benefits. If you are to take something from tantra, that is to prolong love making and make the most of your orgasmic energies.
The problem with modern culture is that sex is only seen as a form of recreation. Tantra believes it is a form of transformation. The purpose of sex for an individual is to please oneself. We are all about our individual pleasure and more often than not, we take our partner for granted. Connection is only secondary. Tantra encourages something different. That is, the goal should be to please our partner, more than ourselves, to connect on an emotional level.
Another major difference between modern view of sex and tantra is the idea of a beginning and ending. In Western culture, sex has a clear beginning and end. Climax happens for a woman in between the act of lovemaking and it occurs at the end for the male partner. The act may last around only ten or fifteen minutes at most which is unfortunate for women because they require around twenty minutes to achieve full arousal. This is why sex is a rather unsatisfying act for most women.
With Tantra, love making is a dance without a specific beginning or ending. There is no particular goal but to focus on the present moment of love making. In this case, the sexual experience is treated as a form of meditation. It must be open, couples must be close and communicative. This will benefit couples the most because among the important teachings of tantra is the prolonging of sexual ecstasy. In other words, tantra can make it possible for both men and women to experience multiple orgasms in one sexual encounter. Imagine that.
As a matter of fact, the practice of tantra can even help men who are suffering from premature ejaculation. With the help of tantra, these men can extend their orgasmic experience and at the same time, enjoy several orgasms. Who would not want that, right?
In the next chapter, you will learn more reasons to start practicing tantra.
